Pro tips and tricks

Hope to pass on to some of the younger players tips and tricks veterans have learned along the way pls feel free to add your own.

1. When drinking bag in box wine that is close to empty turn the spout upside down open it and blow it up like a balloon. this makes the wine come out via air pressure.
2. if 1 fails (you are very tipsy) simply remove the bag from said box turn upside down and cut with your favorite scissor, then pour.

1. Never eat yellow snow.

2. Women are all snakes with tits

3. There is nothing in the world that cannot be solved by a liberal application of explosives or beer.

we_just_dinged_em wrote:
3. There is nothing in the world that can be solved by a liberal application of explosives or beer.

Don't you mean "cannot" ?   (<this cat doesn't mean anything I just wanted to use it)

agreed, I have pigs tits for fingers

we_just_dinged_em wrote:1. Never eat yellow snow.

How many times do I have to say that it might be beer!!
I'm Norwegian, I know all there is about snow!

If a security guy pours your liquor to the ground (when you are underaged), it is still good to drink it from the ground.

 I thought you may find this jolly useful......I did

HOW TO REPLACE TANK TRACKS

ANS1:
Its not easy. The tracks weigh several thousand pounds, being made of heavy steel. If you're in the maintenance shop, you lay the track out flat on the floor and get the tank positioned over it, usually with a very large crane. Only the back wheels on the side of the tank are drive wheels, connected to and turned by the engine. Two very strong men lift one end of the track and get it draped over this back wheel. Then the tank's engine is used to turn the drive wheels and move the track along the top of the bogey wheels. The strong men then have to pull the end back below the bogey wheels, until the two ends of the track can meet. The links of the track are held together by large, long round steel pins. The links of the track are positioned together and the steel pin is driven in with a sledge hammer.

If the tank has thrown a track in the field, sometimes its possible to get it back on, but as hard as it is in the shop its even more laborious in the mud of the field and possibly under fire.

ANS2:
(A) You drive the tank onto the laid-out track, (yes you can drive a tank on one track. By pulling on the steering lever on the side which is having the new track fitted it stops the drive on that side, thus making the other side drive the track already fitted). (B) You stop the tank when the rear is close to the end of the laid - out track. (C) You attach a strong rope to the end of the track at the front of the tank, pass the rope along the top return rollers and wrap it round the drive sprocket. (D) The driver now engages low reverse and pulling the steering lever on the side of the tank which already has a track fitted,slowly reverses. The tank stays where it is but pulls the track over the return rollers untill the teeth on the drive sprocket engage the track. (E) The rope is removed and the same procedure followed untill the track is tight on the return rollers. (F) The two ends are connected as per the previous answer, i.e by someone with a crowbar lifting the track till the ends meet, when the track pin is driven in. (G) The track is then tightened to the correct amount by two men wielding the biggest spanner you have ever seen onto the track adjuster on the front idler wheel. - Job done!

Or you can double press '5' and hey presto the track is fixed in a jiffy!!!!!!

Nobody likes a Smartarse Spoff !